This has definitely been a humbling week for me. I have been focused a lot on me, and my struggles, and my frustrations with Russian and my companion and stuff that I haven’t really thought about anyone else. I pray for humility and compassion but realized that I hadn’t been doing as much as I could have to work towards that goal. The two sisters that I am the closest with in my district have had really hard weeks with family things and so I have been able to think a lot more about them and what I can do for them than what I can do to make this better for me. I have realized how much my little problems DON’T matter. It shouldn’t bother me when others do things that irritate me cause I am SURE that there are things that I do to irritate them so much more. I have also been trying to have more sincere prayers. My Heavenly Father loves me and knows everything about my life, but he WANTS to hear from me! He wants me to tell him what is going on and let him know how I feel and how my day was and talk to him about what I can improve on and he wants me to repent.
I can’t believe I am more than halfway on my way out of this place. I love it yet hate it. But, I feel like they are going to kick me out and I still won’t really know Russian and I will feel so lost. I don’t know. But, all I know is that I can do this. We are teaching three progressing investigators still and it is great. I love it. We are continuing to work better and better together. I love it.
We heard from Richard G Scott last night at our devotional and it was wonderful to hear the things that he said. He talked so much about our missions and how this is going to bless my entire life. He said, “Every good thing in my life is because of my mission.” That’s a pretty bold statement. Seriously. Like, what?? Every single thing? I guess I better work my hardest here on the mission so that I can be worthy of these wonderful blessings one day. He talked a lot about sincere prayer and how we can recieve three answers to prayers. 1-peace and comfort 2-unsettling, stupor of thought 3-no response. The third is something that can be frustrating because we want an answer and we want it now. It is because he trusts us. He knows that we will make a decision consistent with his teachings. He said something that was very interesting to me. He said, “Give thanks when an answer is with-held from you. It means he trusts you.” What?! I love that. That is so great to think that HE trusts ME! Also, he made a point and said, Promptings do come. They come at a time and in a matter that we need them to. It is not going to be on our time, but on the Lord’s time. Everything that the Lotd does in my life is gor MY good. He doesn’t do it to laugh, he doesn’t do it because he wants me to struggle. He does it because he wants me to grow and he can see farther down the road than I can. I love that. He has also called me on this mission to succeed, not fail. He doesn’t want me to fail. Not at all. He wants me to learn and grow…maybe that takes some struggle and frustration, but I can do it. With his help I can do it.
We heard from Mary Edmunds on Sunday for Relief Sociey. She was quite the hoot. If you don’t know who that is, google her. She has gone on like 4 missions and has written books and speaks places often. Kinda similar to Sheri Dew…but different. She said something that hit me. Maybe I am just supposed to know that I am supposed to be here, not necessarily why yet. I am okay with that. I am learning slowly but surely reasons why I am here. All I can do is the best I can do. But, I have to do that. I can’t just do a so-so job. We are all here at the MTC to go on a mission. Yet, every single mission will be different. This is the Lord’s mission that he has sent ME on. He sent me for a reason. I need to let him help me so that it can be the mission that he wanted me to serve when he gave me the call.
My goal for my mission (well I have lots so this is just one of them…) is: To leave my residence every morning with the faith that there are people ready to hear the gospel? With the knowledge that with enough faith and enough hard work he WILL put someone in my path that is ready to hear the gospel? That is how I can and will be successful.
I love you all so much and think about you all the time!
Sister Rebekah Schaff
PS. WRITE ME! I love letters. No matter how short or long. Dearelder.com me! It’s so easy!